Grief is something all of us experience. It is particularly challenging during holidays or “events” such as Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Day is a beautiful day to celebrate your love and to dote on your lover. But for those that have lost loved ones, it's a painful reminder of that loss.
Here are a couple of tips to help you cope with the grief of losing a loved one. And, just to be clear, I'm talking about any loved one.
Stop Trying To Get “Over” The Loss And Allow Yourself To Grieve
So many people have said to me over the years, “Blair, please help me get over the loss of my husband…”
You will NEVER get “over” their loss. That's going about things the wrong way.
That's trying to change something that cannot be changed.
It is perfectly normal and “okay” to feel pain. In fact, the deeper the love you had for the deceased loved one, the deeper that sorrow will be.
You won't get “over” it, but you CAN get through it.
Amazing Tip To Getting Through Grief
Here's a tip that I have shared with thousands. It is deceptively simple, but it works. It heals.
Turn the tables around.
Ask yourself, “if the tables were reversed and I were in heaven, would I want my loved ones feeling/behaving this way?”
Ponder that answer.
Most people say, “no, I would want them to move on with their life!”
Guess what they want for you?
That's right. They want the best for you and want you to know they are okay. They want YOU to be okay too.
IF I died today, I would expect my wife Wendy's life to be turned upside down. Things would settle and then I would hope that she would move on with her life… to have fun, do things, go places and laugh again.
I would want her to be happy. And to know that my love for her was always there.
I would NOT want her spending a ton of time grieving, crying or not moving on.
Does that make sense? Of course you would want your loved one to move forward.
That is what your loved ones want for YOU.
Your Loved Ones Haven't Gone Anywhere
All of us must die some day. I've never met anyone who doesn't understand that.
But our souls–our spirit–lives on! Our bodies die, but our souls do not.
Yes, your loved one many not be physically here, but they are 100% alive in spirit.
Your loved ones know full well what you are going through and want you to get through it. They understand your sorrow, but they also want you to achieve peace with it.
Start A Ritual On Valentine's Day
Start a ritual.
One of the things we've done in my family over the years is to set a plate setting for the loved one on special occasions.
Perhaps you are alone. Why not treat yourself to a nice meal out on Valentine's Day?
Love yourself. Have them put a plate and cutlery across from you and enjoy yourself in their honor.
Watch For Their Signs
It is very common that our deceased loved ones send us signs, but much of the time we flat out miss those signs. Make sure you know them, recognize them and watch for them, especially in dream visitations My book, Afterlife, can help you recognize them.
KNOW that they are still with you.
You are never alone. Remember, love never dies.