Grief: Remembering A Loved One On Valentine’s Day

Grief is something all of us experience. It is particularly challenging during holidays or “events” such as Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day is a beautiful day to celebrate your love and to dote on your lover. But for those that have lost loved ones, it's a painful reminder of that loss.

grief valentines day

Here are a couple of tips to help you cope with the grief of losing a loved one. And, just to be clear, I'm talking about any loved one.

Stop Trying To Get “Over” The Loss And Allow Yourself To Grieve

So many people have said to me over the years, “Blair, please help me get over the loss of my husband…”

You will NEVER get “over” their loss. That's going about things the wrong way.

That's trying to change something that cannot be changed.

It is perfectly normal and “okay” to feel pain. In fact, the deeper the love you had for the deceased loved one, the deeper that sorrow will be.

You won't get “over” it, but you CAN get through it.

Amazing Tip To Getting Through Grief

Here's a tip that I have shared with thousands. It is deceptively simple, but it works. It heals.

Turn the tables around.

Ask yourself, “if the tables were reversed and I were in heaven, would I want my loved ones feeling/behaving this way?”

Ponder that answer.

Most people say, “no, I would want them to move on with their life!”

Guess what they want for you?

That's right. They want the best for you and want you to know they are okay. They want YOU to be okay too.

IF I died today, I would expect my wife Wendy's life to be turned upside down. Things would settle and then I would hope that she would move on with her life… to have fun, do things, go places and laugh again.

I would want her to be happy. And to know that my love for her was always there.

I would NOT want her spending a ton of time grieving, crying or not moving on.

Does that make sense? Of course you would want your loved one to move forward.

That is what your loved ones want for YOU.

Your Loved Ones Haven't Gone Anywhere

All of us must die some day. I've never met anyone who doesn't understand that.

But our souls–our spirit–lives on! Our bodies die, but our souls do not.

Yes, your loved one many not be physically here, but they are 100% alive in spirit.

Your loved ones know full well what you are going through and want you to get through it. They understand your sorrow, but they also want you to achieve peace with it.

Start A Ritual On Valentine's Day

Start a ritual.

One of the things we've done in my family over the years is to set a plate setting for the loved one on special occasions.

Perhaps you are alone. Why not treat yourself to a nice meal out on Valentine's Day?

Love yourself. Have them put a plate and cutlery across from you and enjoy yourself in their honor.

Watch For Their Signs

It is very common that our deceased loved ones send us signs, but much of the time we flat out miss those signs. Make sure you know them, recognize them and watch for them, especially in dream visitations My book, Afterlife, can help you recognize them.

KNOW that they are still with you.

You are never alone. Remember, love never dies.

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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29 thoughts on “Grief: Remembering A Loved One On Valentine’s Day

  1. With your help, I was able to move on after my Daddy passed. I’ve read all you books and they helped me so much. My Daddy comes to visit me all the time. He lets me know he’s here. One of the latest things is that I will wake up in the middle of the night and smell bacon cooking. He loved bacon. I talk to him, light candles for him, wear a necklace with his ashes, and always honor him on holidays and his birthday, even the day of his passing. When I’m feeling sad, I tell him and do something special, like cook one of his favorite meals or do something he liked to do. I always feel better after.
    You are so right, he is always with me and Love Never Dies!!!!

    • Blair, I thought this article was very heart warming, and very helpful to many. My Daughter who lost her husband a few years back, I’m sure would gain a lot from this message from you, and find it very helpful.
      I own all your books, and find them very enlightening. Please keep up with your helpfulness for all man kind.
      Thank you for this message.
      Robert

  2. Beautiful and thank you. Grieving is the hardest and most sincere way to heal, that being said I want to express this: We need to be in the moment so much in our life that we forget how to just love ourselves well again. But I remember being told that “what good is it for a Mother to feed her children and not herself when food is not ample. For when she dies ,, the children our alone with no way to feed themselves.” I think this applies to the heart and grieving as well, ; we need to take time for ourselves to be able to be there for others when needed. ❤️
    Happy Valentines Day to all the ones here and in the afterlife. I will be lighting a white candle to invite love ones to join us. Love all that you do Blair.

    Love and Light to you and yours.

  3. My husband passed away in December 2016 think he maybe visits me when sleeping.

    I wake up scared have a hard to time to sleep again . or find pennies or coins here or there.

    Guess have to really open my heart and soul to see more just maybe a still block or in pain.

    I miss my husband terribly been so hard so much changes ……….

  4. Thank you so much and thank you for your Live interaction interviews you do! Your amazing and I know you truly care about what you do and care about people. So many people who have your talent are just out to bake money.

  5. I had a dream about my sister. We both always loved to shop and she would always buy and look great whatever she bought and would always put together unique outfits. Of course we would borrow each others clothes. But in my dream she came in my room and told me how she loved my black dress more than hers and couldn’t believe I picked it out. It was so funny I laughed and really truly felt her right there. It was so comforting and amazing. I thought I would always be scared if I saw her, but I can’t wait to see her again. My Katherine.

  6. I know love never dies, I get a lot of signs from my daughter and her father. It’s just great to hear your words..It’s like a spiritual boost. Thank you for what you do.

  7. Thank you Blair. You always say the right things at the right time. Its very hard to go on without our loved ones but yes we have to. I am dating someone now but that brings on even more and confusing feelings. Still love n miss my husband but he’s not coming back. I know he wouldn’t want me to be lonely and depressed, so I’m going on but the grief doesn’t end even when going forward. Thank you again. I hope you and Wendy have a wonderful Valentines Day. Let Wendy have a cookie too at Subway!

  8. Wise words – appreciate your kindness, caring, and efforts to help others – what a wonderful calling on your life and Wendy’s also. Thanks for all you do.

  9. Thank you for sharing I never thought of putting a plate out for my loved ones I could have a really big party because you’re the best you’re gone I think I’ll do that today I do get the sign says for sure I’ll let you know how it turned out hope you’re enjoying sunny Florida had some beautiful weather I sure am grateful that I got to see you in Miami you’re not gonna believe Carman’s dad told her to get to the doctors or she had a major stroke two days after we saw you I believe she’s doing well right now I’m going to go see her today say hi to Wendy and enjoy your Valentine’s Day at Subway

  10. |Thank you for your message. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours.

    I believe my husband is there and sees and knows. i am looking forward to the future and being together again.

  11. IT has only been 6 months ,,And I have had to get thorough Christmas ,New Years, birthday and now Valentines day ..It has hit like bullets each holiday coming so soon after losing Bear ..I am trying to get through it all , but grieving has not even really been able to happen as there was such a mess left .. Dealing with the everyday needs has been in itself a labor .. Just a day at a time they say … lets hope .. thank you for your wise words..

  12. I am so thanksulle , for your post thank you so much ,I cannot believed you take time with your wife and send me this article.,
    I laugh when you talk about plate ,for loved ones, we did this year’s with Johnny on Christmas, and we left food for God..
    I do miss my son , true ,but I am apretiate for thinks like this, I will go on he’s Stonek and lit candle ,and I will buy some flover ,oh my god this is absolutely kindness from you both …And I am thanksulle for all you did for me ..Thank you so much … Happy Valentines to you and to your all family circle ,love never died ,,, I knew …Thank you so much Czech Canadiend Girl missing her son …But she knew he’s around I knew ,I see ..Thinks ..Thank you ..Again

  13. Just this past Sunday I was cleaning out my garage came into my basement and smelled the most wonderful cologne very evident I knew it was my dad he died on Thanksgiving day and I am thankful that he passed and he’s at peace it was 96 years old and was pretty sick the last few months of his life and I did not want him suffering anymore I thank God every day that he is with the others on the other side but I don’t know he’s here along with my husband and my mother . I so enjoy your letters keep them common dude

  14. Dear Mr. Blair and Ms. Wendy. Happy Valentines Day to you both. You are such a sweet couple. Many thanks for sending me lots of information, it helps. I am 83 and 9/10 years old and I can not afford a reading at any price. Thank you for the half off offer but I can not make it. My Valentine girl and I were married over 42 years and it was wonderful every single day. I was able to take flowers to her resting place early this morning and spent time with her. As I have told you before, I have all your books and purple bands and stones. Carolyn has been gone almost three years now and I am not getting any better at all. I guess I am stupid or something but my life is done as far as going out with some one and having a good time. It is no fun with out Carolyn. If I went out and had a good time, to me it would be cheating on Carolyn. I will have joy when I meet Carolyn in the next life. Again you two, hope your day was great.

  15. Today I was blue, husband passed away September 02, I found a shiny quarter with the year we were married when I was walking at lunch. I found this right after I sent him a message how much I missed him. I am sure hoping that was a sign. Blair you have helped me with all your insights and words.

  16. My husband Ken passed in November 2015 and I miss him so much. I talk to him every day and send him my love. With Valentines Day approaching I asked if he could send me a special Valentine sign. When I arrived at work today there was a beautiful flowering plant and a box of candy on my desk with no name of who it was from.
    It made my day.

  17. Thank you.( I guess you knew) that message would ..
    I’m here w my pH and I heart radio on .. the app..Boys to men- end of the road..
    Starts as I was .Look I can hardly type this. No matter what this was or wasn’t .(I believe it was) my sighn. She says till the end, and we will see each other’s face again. Ty God Bless, Amy from Bradenton/Sarasota

  18. I was at your Orlando event and I thought you would want to hear a positive testimonial. My brother came through… what I’m about to say is going to sound ungrateful and selfish… considering that I did indeed get a reading and others did not. I walked away wanting more… he didn’t say much, he came through laughing and said that there wasn’t a mystery to his death and it was his time to go. My brother was super funny, was the center of attention at gatherings due to his jedi-type wit, contagious laughter and just all around gregarious personality. So, I felt disappointed that he didn’t have more to say, simply because I have been having such a difficult time with his death. Although he was 51, he was my baby brother and he ALWAYS had my back. Besides my husband, he is the one person I could always rely on regardless of circumstances. We grew up together and although not close as kids, we got much closer as young adults. He was always “there” and for the past 3 years we practically lived together since he rented our studio apartment that we have attached to our house. I saw him every day for the past 3 years.

    He passed unexpectedly the Sunday after Thanksgiving, November 27th, 2016 at a friend’s house, and since that day, I had not been able to stop the crying. At times, it was difficult to maintain my composure and if I was in public and even at work, I had to run off and hide in order to regain it. As I said at your event, I couldn’t get my heart to understand what my head already knows. My head knows he is okay. My head knows he is in a better place. My head knows he’s around. Even before I started listening to your books (I bought all of them on audible after seeing you in Miami – we were at that event too), I was lucky enough to experience a couple of very strong signs from him. I am almost positive I know the exact day he transitioned over because he gave both me and my husband, separately, specific, strong signs on that day. Almost like in the movie “Ghost”… it was his way of saying, “I have to move on now, but I wanted you to know I’m around.” Yet, knowing all of this, I had this persistent sharp, stabbing pain in my heart, a heaviness, and such deep sadness, that I wondered if I would ever feel normal again. In fact, I recently went to my doctor and asked for an anti-depressant because I felt guilty for everyone around me. I felt like such a Debbie Downer and it was taking a serious effort to just be around anyone other than my husband. My husband has been very supportive and just lets me grieve without judgement. My doctor prescribed a super mild dosage (10mg of Lexipro) and said it would be a few days before I noticed a difference.

    At the Orlando event, you asked if I wanted to be healed. Of course, I said yes. But, I need to confess, I was pretty skeptical of getting any benefit from holding up my hand and literally receiving your/your spirit guides’ energy (whose energy was that?). This happened last Tuesday, Feb 14th. The following day we drove from Orlando back to our home in Hollywood, FL. I noticed that the sharp knife pain in my heart wasn’t there. I chalked it up to being in a different environment, driving back home, listening to one of your books.

    This morning, Friday Feb 17th, I realized that I haven’t had the “stabbing knife pain” in my heart, and that I haven’t felt the heaviness since Orlando. I called my husband from work and I was mentioning this to him… “Sweetheart, you know what I noticed? I don’t know if it was the healing technique or…” and before I could get the words out “or that the anti-depressants are kicking in” I swear I heard someone say “Hey a##hole” – like saying “don’t even mention it’s the anti-depressants”… I started laughing and I explained what I had just heard in my head and what I was trying to say to him before the “interruption.” I am praying and asking my spirit guides to please help me maintain this semblance of peace.

    Miraculously, you showed up on my FB page one day and I “liked” your page. Shortly after my brother’s death, I got a notice you’d be touring in our area. I was in so much grief that I bought tickets, hoping to connect with him. I had never heard of you except for FB. At the Miami event, Feb 8th, there was an unclaimed spirit that you had to dismiss. It bothered me that no one claimed the spirit. I felt very sad for the spirit. You mentioned a 22 (my brother was born Sep 22) and a rhythmic name with the letter M (my mom’s name was Mirna), but you kept mentioning a suicide, someone choking and as far as I knew, my brother had not committed suicide. That wasn’t his style and much less would he do it at a friend’s house. You also said towards the time you had no choice but to dismiss the spirit, that you knew it was a suicide because they present themselves saying “sorry.” The day after the Miami event, I began to second guess. Oh my god… what if Albert committed suicide? No way… he wouldn’t do that… but then, I could see why he would present himself saying “sorry”…what if it was Albert and his “sorry” was misinterpreted? But.. Blair said the spirit was choking… what if that happened when Albert threw up? No can’t be… Blair said he felt like he was hanging… (do you get the picture? I tormented myself.) I second guessed myself because the circumstances around my brother’s death were indeed a little bit mysterious and I had a lot of questions. The main one being, did he die because it was his time, or did something happen between him and the friend that owed him money. So, I looked up your schedule and we followed you to Orlando.

    Lo and behold, I got the answer to my question at the Orlando event. Even though initially I felt a little disappointed because I wanted to hear more from him, I am in awe at the peace that I feel. I am so grateful for the healing that you enabled. I am so grateful that you crossed my path.

    As I mentioned, I’ve been listening to all your books. They’re simple, yet packed with information. Impossible to retain everything in one sitting so I’m on round 2 of listening to all of them.

    Thank you and thank Wendy for what you guys do. I’m so very, very grateful.

    Love & light.
    Josie

  19. I never understood the “the want us to be happy and enjoy our life” thing. I lost my girlfriend on June 14th of last year. I am devastated. She was, and is, the love of my life. I think about her all day, every day. I talk to her constantly.

    I think about her all day, tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this. It wasn’t her fault, of course, that breast cancer stole her life from her. But just because (maybe) she doesn’t want me to suffer doesn’t mean that I’m fine and and will laugh it off. They don’t get to determine how we feel, in my opinion. Most people don’t understand me when I say this.

    I am going out with someone else, but my heart isn’t in it. I feel bad saying that. I miss my girlfriend so much…

    I am not moving on. I don’t want to love anyone else. I don’t want to betray her or our love. I don’t want to replace her. If there is an afterlife I want it to be with her, with no one getting between me and her.

    I hope that makes sense.

  20. I have been seeing 333 on my clocks since my father died . Does this have a meaning . I have always thought it was a sign from him , I usually see this in troubled times. There are several numbers like 444 and 555 after other deaths . My husband laughs at me when I share it with him . The 444 started after my Mom and 555 after my brother in law passed. Just wondering . Angela Miller

  21. I have learned so much in one book Spirit Guides than any other books that I have read. I didn’t know where else to post this comment. I am anxious to read some of your other books on death. And reading on the different topics.

  22. I don’t know what these thoughts of mine are….I can’t think of any word that can let one word/ phrase …my thought….it may have a feeling of lightness, transparency, sometimes so little value because it was hardly there… it just wisped of so you get a very startle and knew you were part of something

    Of late all I have are my thoughts and memories….I sit very still if I can and hear them out. …..it’s amazing what being in convent for 14 years and not wanting to draw attention but hoping so much for acceptance could do to a person like me…for a person like none other it can ever be even remotely positive without being able to mirror itself exactly , immediately, simultaneously , on precise wave the of the initial happening ….it might have something to do with the manipulation of wavelengths …….

    …..if such were to be the case in realm of such conceptualization of such event of possibility…lol…I said I like to just sit and listen

    …..I’m seems to me that there is a lot of things to listen to….to hear therefore to listen and….not the other way around, to listen therefor to hear…..and I spent my entire life trying to beat both sides if the coin…

    .without ever realizing that there is an incessant drum beat in all of life that perceive …..because everytime we make perceive in precision…..we have just heard it ‘s corresponding wavelength, vibration, sound. ……lol

    And since with perceive – wavelength – precision. ………a right now there’s a veritable cacaphony of sound. ….all of them waiting eternity to be heard

  23. My mom passed away 3 months ago i now live her house looking after my 60 yr old very sick brother she was a very hard working women and had a very hard life is she happy and can she see or hear me this answer would help me very much her name was jean